The Gift of Bluntness
by Hailey C. Black
Summary: Bella Swan has a gift. She calls it like it is- sometimes even when she's not sure what -it- is. Moving to Forks sets of a rapid chain of events that finds her thrust into a new world before she even gets to her 2nd day of school. AU, Sarcastic Bella
1. Chapter 1 I Met This Psychic Girl

A/N- This is an idea I'm trying out. It's got some shorter chapters than I usually write. I have four chapters written so far and an outline, so hopefully this story will actually get done in a timely manner. If I get a good response from this chapter I'll probably end up updating again on Sunday. I hope you enjoy it... I'm shutting up now... yeah

Word Count: 1,549

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><p><strong>The Gift of Bluntness<br>**

**Chapter 1** I Met this Psychic Girl

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><p>My first day of school and it was already sucking.<p>

I came here to live with my father after my mother died. I was living with her in Phoenix, Arizona when she died from leukemia and my only choices were to become a ward of the state, or live with my father in Forks, Washington…aka Hell on Earth.

I chose to be a ward of the state, but the judge decided on the other path. At least with my choice I could've stayed with my best friend. He would do anything for me.

Instead I had to settle for a quick and painful farewell with the only person I ever loved besides my mother and father, and I was on a plane to Forks.

When I arrived Sunday afternoon Charlie offered to let me stay at home until I got all settled in, but I don't want to dwell on the fact that I'm a half-orphan. And the fact that my best friend was now a thousand miles away… and my cell doesn't get coverage here.

Fuck my life.

My first day in Forks started off with a bang. First I got up and found my dad crying in the kitchen. That was just weird and unnatural, though I understand, with my mom… and all.

Before Charlie could notice me standing in the kitchen doorway, I ran out the front door avoiding that awkward situation. I tend to bottle everything up. I realize that one day I'm going to probably snap and end up stabbing someone to death with a spork…

I'm kinda looking forward to that day. Being an emotional retard is tiring. So… back to my shit-tastical day.

As soon as I stepped off the front porch, I sunk into a puddle that could technically be classified as a pond, and ruined my favorite converse. And as my luck would have it, these were the only shoes I packed since I had planned to go shopping for clothes (and a new cell phone) within the next week. I didn't want to venture too far back into the house in case my father noticed me this time around, and the only replacement I could find were a pair of loose rain boots in the hallway closet.

I figured then that my first day of school wasn't going to be my most fashionable one.

And now, as I stepped into the front office of my new high school, I took in the woman sitting at the front desk. She was reading a romance novel… ugh.

"Hello, my name is Isabella Swan. I'm here to get my schedule?" I asked as politely as I could.

"Oh, hello, Let me just print it for you." She replied. That sounds simple right? I sat in the office for thirty minutes while the secretary screwed with the printer as it apparently was not working.

"You know, you could probably just write it down on a piece of paper for me. I don't mind." I said, annoyed that I was now ten minutes late for first period. I had hoped to slip in early and find a seat in the back, unnoticed.

"Sure." She said sweetly. I could tell she was a bit pissed at my snotty tone. Fuck her; I was now going to have to walk into my class while everyone stared at me.

I finally got my schedule, locker and combination, and a small map of the school, and I headed to my first class. I opened the door to my first period Pre-Calculus class and as I was entering the class, my boot slipped a bit and caught on the threshold.

I was going down like a two dollar whore.

"Fuck! Shit! Goddamn monkey balls!" I exclaimed as I was on my way down. I landed on my stomach and nearly knocked all the air out of my lungs. I stood up to see a class full of startled students, and one unhappy teacher.

"That didn't just happen; you will speak of it to no one. If you do I swear to god I will tell the Chief that you fucking sell pot behind the cafeteria dumpster." I said, looking at the increasingly startled students.

"Excuse me young lady, but I don't appreciate tardiness in my class and I especially don't appreciate swearing." The pudgy man said with an irritated expression on his face.

"My mom just died." I said bluntly, looking at my math teacher in the eyes. Although I loved my mother, I didn't mind using her death to my advantage. That probably has something to do with my teaspoon sized emotional capacity.

It worked because he was obviously confused and very uncomfortable. I turned and looked around the room for an empty seat. There were rows of tables, each seating three people. There was only one seat open, and it was luckily in the back of the room.

I started hopping to the back, taking off my stupid rain boots on my way. You would think with my very ungraceful arrival that I'm a klutz. You'd be wrong. I blame the Satan-possessed shoes for my earlier nose dive.

I reached the back table and shot one boot and then the other into the trashcan at the front of the room like they were basketballs. They both made it so I gave myself permission to have a little congratulatory fist pump. I looked at my bare feet and then back to the eyes of every person staring at me.

"Does anyone by any chance have a spare pair of shoes handy? Size eight? Although I could probably squeeze into a six if I have to." I asked the room. Some people shook their heads. The girl sitting at the table next to me started digging in her backpack.

"I do. Size eight." She said smiling at me. What luck, right?

"Bitch is psychic." I mumbled to myself as I gratefully grabbed the white ballet flats from her and sat in the empty seat beside her. Figures they'd match my outfit.

The psychic girl was quite petite, and she was bouncing around like she drank a couple double espressos. She had short spiky hair that suited her, light golden eyes, and she looked like an elf. The boy next to her was smiling at her amusedly with his also golden eyes, and I could tell that they must be together rather than related as their completely-unique-but-oddly-the-same eyes would seem to imply. They were sitting really close together and he had his arm around the back of her chair. He looked relaxed with his shaggy blonde hair; his lean body stretched out around his chair and the elf-girl.

I had studied them for at least three minutes before I realized everyone was still staring at me. The teacher still looked uncomfortable, staring at me but avoiding my eyes.

"I'm sorry. Continue whatever you were doing before I interrupted."

The teacher cleared his throat and turned back to the board, explaining something or other. I was pro at math so I didn't need to pay attention.

The pixie girl and her boyfriend looked at me amused. I turned to the girl and put out my hand for her to shake.

"My name's Bella Swan. Thanks for the shoes. I'm so lucky you had some psychic vision and knew some idiot, namely me, would need them." She shook my hand with her ice cold one, looking a bit uncomfortable when I mentioned she was psychic; whatever that's about. I mean it'd be totally cool if she really was. The way she was acting like I had just discovered her deep dark secret made me think I was hitting on a nerve.

"My name is Alice Cullen. I'm not really psychic, just always prepared. This is Jasper Hale." I shook his hand too.

"Yeah, right; you're just such a boy scout, you carry around a pair of shoes that are two sizes too big to fit your tiny elfin feet on the specific day that I arrive in my deadly rubber rain boots." I said. She looked shocked and then quite uncomfortable. Yep; she's definitely psychic. She got a blank look in her eyes like she was looking through me and when she focused again she smiled.

"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me." I promised; Alice just smiled happily at me.

"I have a feeling we are going to be wonderful friends."

"Well, if you say so? I mean, I'm not stupid enough to bet against a psychic, right?" With that, the bell rang. I grabbed my bag and turned to head out of the classroom, but Alice grabbed my arm.

"I'll see you at lunch? You can sit with me and Jasper and our other siblings." I looked at Alice and she was all welcoming. Jasper looked at me shocked, and then at Alice confused.

"Sure Alice. I'd love to get to know you. If we're gonna be such good friends, anyway. And maybe you could help me pick out some lottery numbers sometime." I winked at her and headed to my next class. English has always been my favorite subject.

I guess my day is starting to pick up.

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	2. Chapter 2 He Ran Away to Be With Me

A/N- I couldn't wait. So I updated again.

Word Count: 1,624

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong> Holy Shit, He Ran Away To Be With Me

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><p>My thoroughly shitty day picked up after first period and the day seemed to pass quicker for it.<p>

I remembered that I was going to sit with Alice at lunch, so when I entered the cafeteria I headed straight through the lunch line. I had forgotten to get lunch money from my stash before I left this morning and the cafeteria woman looked pissed when I asked if I could just not pay.

"But, seriously. I'm good for it. In fact, my mother just died and she had one helluvah insurance policy. I'm loaded." I said. I just really wanted this piece of pizza. It was all melty and soaked in pepperoni grease. I really think I found the holy grail of pizza slices here.

I looked up and the woman was staring past me with wide eyes so I turned around to make sure she wasn't having some sort of staring seizure and noticed a gorilla doubled over in laughter behind me.

"Hey King Kong, you got two bucks?" I asked him. He looked at me and let out some more laughter.

"Dude, if you can't help me in this damsel-desperate-for-the-_Holy-Grail_-of-pizza situation then can you find Alice Cullen. She could probably spot me. Figured the psychic would at least know when her new best friend would need some money though. Jeez." He laughed even harder at that but he finally gave the lunch lady a couple bucks and picked up my tray and started walking away.

I followed him curiously. He set the tray down at the table Alice and Jasper were sitting with a supermodel blonde beside them. King Kong took the seat beside the blonde bombshell and I took the seat next to Alice.

The huge guy who had been laughing at my predicament started to open my soda and I reacted quickly. I had the tray and soda in front of me before he had time to pop the seal on the can.

"Bitch please. You may have paid for this food King Kong, but this shit is mine. It doesn't look like you need anymore sustenance anyway. So tell me; how small _are_ your steroid nuts these days?"

Again he shook the earth with his booming laughter. Alice's tinkling laughter rang out beside me and Jasper smiled brightly. Aphrodite looked pissed.

"Now look here you little—"

"Calm down, Rose. I didn't mind. This girl either has some serious nuts or she's just fucking nuts— but she's hilarious." King Kong said, gaining some control over his laughter. He reached his arm across the table for me to shake and introduced himself as Emmett Cullen, and the woman sitting next to him as Rosalie Hale, his girlfriend- of course.

"Bella, this really is the start of a beautiful friendship." Alice smiled brightly at me. I laughed.

"If you say so, Miss Cleo. So these are your siblings?" I asked her. Alice nodded.

"Makes sense." I stated. Alice looked at me curiously and Jasper's smirk faltered a bit.

"Why do you say that?" Jasper drawled in a thick southern accent. I was surprised. I had almost thought he was mute.

"Well, let's see; Alice did say that I would be sitting with her and her other siblings during math this morning." They all seemed to let out a sigh of relief when I said this. Alice started to say something but I continued.

"You are all super pale. You all have the same unusual gold colored eyes. You are all way too pretty to be simply human, and you are all ice cold. Well, I haven't exactly touched Rosalie, but the rest of you feel like you just came out of a meat locker." I counted off the points on my fingers. "Plus you all move like you studied ballet or something." _Graceful fuckers _I thought ingenuously.

I smiled at Alice. She beamed back, but it was obviously forced.

"My, aren't you an observant one?" Rose said coldly before she got up and pulled Emmett's guffawing ass out of the lunchroom. I looked back to Alice and she didn't look so faux-happy anymore. In fact she looked real-worried.

"Hun, don't worry. I don't know that all of that adds up to something _seriously_ crazy. I'm just going to tell myself to add it up to great genes and poor circulation." I said trying to dispel some of Alice's worry. I quickly ate my delicious slice of pizza while Alice just smiled and pushed around some of the food on her plate.

I mean, I'm not blind or dumb. It's obvious they weren't exactly normal. Everyone seemed to avoid them like the plague, even unconsciously. They really were unnaturally graceful, and I've never met a living person with such a cold body. I needed a sweater to sit next to them because of the ice-like chill that radiates from them.

I promised Alice that I wouldn't think too hard about it, though with my reading habits (Bram Stoker's Dracula was a well worn edition to my bookshelf), I already had a hunch as to what they might be. I wouldn't say it out loud though. Alice looked like she was really worried that I might know what they were and I could tell it would end badly for me if I let them know I knew that they really aren't human.

Anyway, I left enough unsaid to make it a slight, albeit _very_ slight, possibility that I am still clueless… despite all of the obvious clues.

I had a feeling Alice only let it go because she _wanted_ to believe I was oblivious.

The bell rang and we said quick goodbyes before heading off to our different classes. After a few more short periods and a hellish hour of Forks mandated physical education, I was free to head home.

I started out to my car with my backpack slung over my shoulder and my headphones blaring in my ears. I was looking down at my hands and fiddling with my truck keys.

Charlie had surprised me with a homecoming gift. A big beautiful monster; an old and rusted red Chevy truck. It suited my tastes terribly, but I couldn't say I didn't respect the old thing. It was fifty years old and was running like it was made last year. I was planning on spending some of the insane amount of money I had inherited from my mother on a new car as soon as I could get to the dealership in Seattle that I had checked out online with my best friend before I came here.

Damn, I missed him. I hadn't realized how hard it would be to leave him. I decided that I would need to go to Port Angeles tomorrow and find an AT&T store to change my coverage plan. I could just imagine how angry he would be that I hadn't called him when I arrived. I could imagine how he would angrily say my name in that tone of his—

"Isabella Marie Swan!"

I was so startled by the shout I dropped my keys. I looked up and noticed my best friend sitting in the bed of my truck with two suitcases and a box stacked up beside him. I was momentarily confused until I realized he was _here_ standing in front of me and I hadn't moved an inch.

"EDWARD! How did you get here? Oh my God!" I screamed as he vaulted out of the back of my truck. I ran and nearly tackled him to the ground with my hug.

"I walked." He said sarcastically. I didn't even want to let go of him long enough to slug his arm.

"I missed you so much." I said, nearly crying as he held me in his arms. He had come here for me.

"You've only been gone a day!" He said. This time I did hit him.

"Edward, I thought it was forever." I whimpered. My mom's funeral could barely squeeze a drop out of my eyes and here I was tearing up at the sight of my best friend. I really _am_ screwed up.

"Bella, nothing in this world could keep me away from you forever." He said, staring into my eyes intensely. I blushed and looked down. I noticed my keys and bent to pick them up. It was only a coincidence that the action also hid my stupid blush.

It seemed Edward was the only one who had ever been able to make me do that.

We had met each other in kindergarten. I had the kick-ass sixty-four pack of crayons with the sharpener and all those punk kids in my class wanted them, but I wouldn't share. Then one day they were stolen by the three meanest girls in my class. I found them all broken into little pieces in my cubbie.

Edward saw me crying so he came over and took his glue out of the cubbie next to mine and helped me pour glue into the three girl's shoes before we poured the crayon pieces into them. Since then we've been inseperable.

Although we grew up closer than best friends could possibly be, I knew that it would really mess up our friendship if we were to try being anything beyond just friends.

I mean sure, we told each other constantly that we loved each other.

And there was that time when we both decided it would be practical to practice French kissing with each other so that, should the occasion arise, we would both be prepared to kiss a potential girlfriend or boyfriend.

But other than that we've kept it as platonic a relationship as possible.

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><p>REVIEW. Favorite. Alert. Thanks.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3 Shank You With My Unicorn Horn

A/N- So here's another chapter. I hope you like it. This story is fast paced. Just to let you know. In case you didn't catch it in the summary.

Word Count: 1,307

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong> Shank You with My Magical Unicorn Horn

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><p>We arrived at my house and I didn't see the cruiser, so Charlie was still at work. This was particularly good, as we had to figure out a way to explain why Edward is here and why he needs to live with us.<p>

"So tell me, what you were thinking when you decided to run away from your home to come live with me?" I asked him. Judging by his suitcases he had packed everything of importance that he owned.

"I was thinking that it'd be too damn difficult to live half a country away from the other half of my soul, so it was no biggie. I mean- live in Phoenix with my drunken father and high mother -or move to Forks to live with this really hot chick who likes to take showers with the bathroom door open." He said. I blushed and smacked his arm again.

"That was _one _time! No one was home and I wasn't expecting you to come barging into my house for another thirty minutes you prick. Speaking of, you probably use that memory to spank it." I said, appalled at his uncalled for mention of my previously repressed memory. And then I realized he was blushing fiercely.

"Holy shit, you do! Oh my god Edward. I'm partly flattered… but mostly sickened." I mimed gagging.

"Yeah, gag away. That's all you'll be doing when you suck it." He said, grabbing his junk. I looked down and wondered once again how big he was. I mean, he only talked about his dick like it was the Washington monument since he was thirteen. And you can't blame a girl for wondering right? …right?

"Don't think I haven't noticed you staring at it and trying to guess how big it is." He said. _Apparently you can._

"Well if you'd keep your hand off your junk and quit making me think about it…" I mumbled angrily before walking into my living room with one of his suitcases. He followed and kissed my cheek once I put his bag down. All was forgiven.

I started writing a quick note to my dad to let him know where I was gonna be in case he got back before I expected him to. It said, 'Left with Edward. I don't know when I'll be back. Sorry.'

"Hey, I don't think my dad will be back until, like, one in the morning or something? So… wanna go take a walk?" I asked.

"Sure, just let me grab my jacket." He said.

"You're wearing…" I started as he walked out the back door.

"Waitin' on you now, Woman!" He bellowed. I laughed and followed him out the back door. I ran past him to the woods beyond my yard and found the well worn hiking trail.

"So where're we headed? The woods? Oh shit, Bella. I thought you forgave me already. You're not gonna, like, murder me now are you?" He said, feigning terror.

"Yeah, I forgot to mention that I'm actually a mystical unicorn and I'm taking you in the woods to stab you with my rainbow horn…"

"Oooh. Sounds kinky." He said, squeezing my waist. I pushed him and he stumbled off the trail to my left.

I kept walking.

"Hey, wait. Bells look at this!" He said. I walked back and he was pointing to a very small trail on the ground leading away from the path. "Looks like a game trail. Let's see where it goes." He said, grabbing my hand and pulling me along. I looked up at the sky and I noticed that the sun was still probably going to be up for three or four hours, so I relented and followed Edward.

Edward held my hand like we usually do and talked about everything that came to mind, including his penis once again, and my bra came into conversation for a moment there. (…I did mention this relationship we have is totally platonic, right?)

Occasionally he'd hold a branch out of the way for me but there didn't seem to be much scenery, and the trail was getting harder to follow as it wasn't much defined in the first place. We walked up the trail for at least an hour and a half before we finally got to something interesting.

We hiked through the thinning trees, and came out of the forest into a beautiful meadow. There were wild flowers everywhere and the sun shone down, warming the clearing to a comfortable temperature.

I shut my gaping mouth and looked over at Edward. He was obviously admiring the clearing and I couldn't help but admire his face. He turned and gave me his crooked smile, and suddenly my knees went weak.

I stumbled forward and Edward wrapped his arms around my waist to steady me. He pulled me forward against his chest and our faces were only two inches apart. I looked into his eyes and thought, 'I guess being with Edward _would_ be pretty cool.'

Before our lips could touch, and let me tell you- they _were_ going to touch, someone cleared their throat.

We turned toward the noise. I was shocked to see another person this far into the forest. It was a man and he had dark skin, although it looked weird. Like a pale dark. And sparkly. Not like 'I borrowed my girlfriend's lotion' sparkly, more like 'I broke into the glitter factory and went swimming in the vat that was meant to be made into stripper eye shadow' sparkly.

Besides that— he had dreadlocks, he was wearing slightly tattered clothes, and he was barefoot.

It was cold out and he was barefoot.

Then I noticed his eyes and knew that we were in trouble. He had bright red eyes and he was not human. I stepped in front of Edward.

"Hun, you need to run. Run as fast as you can back to my house right now. You need to call the Cullens and tell them that someone like them, but worse, found us. You need to go right now." I whispered hurriedly to him. He looked at me strangely and shook his head.

"Please, Edward." I pleaded with him as a tear escaped my eye and slowly trailed down my cheek. This is not going to have a happy ending, I could feel it.

"No Bella. I'm not leaving you. There's two of us and one of him." He said.

"That's a noble notion my young friends, but it won't do you any good." the man said. Suddenly, he was standing right in front of me. I hadn't even seen him move. Edward gasped.

"What are you?" He asked.

"That is of no concern to you, as you don't have long to comprehend." He said, grabbing my face in his cold, hard hands.

"Vampire." I whispered. I couldn't force my voice any higher. The red eyed vampire laughed cheerfully.

"Get your hands off her!" Edward grabbed the man's arm and tried to push him away from me but made no progress. The vampire threw Edward off of him and he hit a tree on the other side of the clearing with a scream and a sickening crunch. I couldn't help but scream as I saw the boy I loved crushed like he was nothing.

Then 'Sparkly' bit me.

I felt his teeth sink into the flesh where my shoulder and neck met. At first I couldn't feel much except the strange sensation of having my blood forced out of my veins, and then the fire started. It burned from his mouth into my shoulder and quickly traveled to my arms and chest.

More pain came when he was ripped away from me. I felt my skin tear away with his teeth and I sunk to the ground.

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	4. Chapter 4 Vampirey Super Powers

A/N- Been a while, I know. Here's another chapter, hopefully people are still reading... P.S. I reformatted some things. Not any big change really. Just added a word count to each chapter. (Word counts are taken before uploading to fanfiction dot net and before any author notes are added.)

Word Count: 1,637

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><p><strong>Chapter 4 <strong>Vampirey Super Powers

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><p>It took me a while to realize there were arms around me.<p>

"Bella! Oh my God! I'm so sorry. I saw it, but it was too late. I'm so sorry. I- I can end this for you. This… it can all be over." Alice sobbed. I could see the tears in her eyes when my vision focused momentarily.

I heard loud noises in the background of all the static. I could hear tearing, like steal being ripped apart, and snarling. I noticed Rosalie sitting beside me with a look of pity on her face.

I knew Jasper and Emmett were near as I heard them speaking. One of them was talking about Edward.

"He's not going to make it. Should I end his suffering?"

The screaming in the background picked up. It was so loud I thought my ears were going to burst. And when I looked around at all of the faces around me, I realized no one was screaming.

"Honey, calm down." Rose said to me and I realized I was the one screaming. "Alice what should we do?" She asked.

"I—I don't know. I can't focus." Alice sobbed. I looked over at Edward and I saw his eyes looking at me. He was still there. I had to make them save him. I couldn't lose him. It wouldn't matter if this burning consumed me if Edward died.

"SAVE HIM! SAVE EDWARD! AAAAHHHH! DON'T—DON'T LET HIM DIE!" I screamed. I couldn't control what was actually coming out of my mouth. I was amazed that I could make words at all.

"Alice?" Jasper prompted.

"Now! We have to get them to Carlisle now!" Alice said, panicking.

"I don't think he'll make it." Emmett said.

My screaming got impossibly louder. They had to save him. Alice nodded her head at me and moved to Edward's side. She knelt over his body and bit his neck. After a moment, gurgling moans joined my screaming.

I quit trying to focus on the things around me. I _knew_ that Edward was going to survive now. I'm not sure what was happening to us but I deduced that we were changing.

The ground fell out from below me and was replaced by a set of arms. After that, all I can remember is the burning.

Some immeasurable amount of time later, things started to change. I could feel the fiery pain slowly leave my toes and fingers. After a while, I could only feel it in my chest. At what I hoped was the end, the pain multiplied exponentially and was concentrated in my hammering heart.

Suddenly, to my immense relief, it all stopped.

Things rushed to confront my working senses only a moment later. I could hear everything. I could hear the breaths Alice was taking in this room. I could hear the boards squeak ever so slightly under the feet of everyone in this house. I could even hear a deer drinking at a stream that must have been miles away and everything in between.

Then I could smell. I smelled the furniture polish in this room and the perfume Alice was wearing. I faintly smelled a skunk somewhere outside of the open window, which is a fact I was not particularly pleased with.

And then I smelled something amazing. It was leather and lime and somewhat musky. It smelled incredible.

I opened my eyes and was shocked at the sharpness of everything around me. If I focused I could see every piece of dust in the air like they were part of a 3-D movie; swirling and twisting around in front of my eyes. But that _smell_...

The moment I thought it, I was up following the smell. It took me only seconds to find it and when I did, I froze. Edward was lying down on a table, clenching his fists so tightly I worried for his bones.

Then I realized… he was different.

Magnificent didn't begin to cover his appearance. I mean, I'd already had the hots for him when we… were human. _Now we're_ _vampires…_

I startled myself from my inspection of the new-yet-same Edward as the thought ran through my head once more.

_We are vampires._

I know it's the truth. I can _feel _it in my body, like every cell that made up my being was quivering under the certainty of it all. How… _unusual._

Alice came up behind me and put her hand on my shoulder. I turned to look at her small form beside me.

"He'll wake up in only twenty minutes." I stated calmly. I didn't need to tell her who I was talking about. She already knew, but she looked startled.

"How did you know that?" She asked me warily.

"I can feel it. It's… _the truth_." I looked longingly at Edward, hoping he could just rush through the end of his changes so I could see his beautiful eyes open again. "I was just thinking to myself that I'd like to know when he would be done with his change, and I already knew. I thought at first I had just thought up some random amount of minutes to hope for… but then… I could _feel _the truth in it."

"That's wonderful, Bella! It seems you have a special ability like some of us acquire after our changes." Carlisle said, stepping into the room. He studied me for a moment before he decided on something.

"I would ask you if you would like to go on your first hunt yet, but I see that until your dear friend is awake, it would be pointless to try and pull you from this room." He gestured to Edward, still lying quite motionless on the table.

"Damn right, Doc." I said, smiling. He chuckled at me and Alice beamed.

"Ahhh," she sighed, "I was wondering when your personality would shine through once again."

I was glad that I was starting to feel like myself again. Ever since I woke I felt like another person. I hadn't even cursed since before I got bitten by that stupid, sparkling dildo in the meadow.

I pulled myself from all other distractions when Edward's hands suddenly gripped the table he was laying on and squeezed it until the pieces were crushed to powder between his fingers.

I moved to his side and grabbed one of his hands, running my fingers in soothing circles on back of it. His body relaxed a little, but I could hear his heart rate double. It looked like this was the end. Another four minutes. I waited patiently, holding Edward's hand in my own.

The moment just after he opened his eyes and took in The Doc and Alice, he was up and snarling; he picked me up and ran to the farthest corner of the room. He stood in front of me, facing Alice and Doctor Cullen, growling loudly and blocking me from their view.

"Do not come near us. She is mine." Edward finally growled out between snarls. I put my hands on his shoulders and pushed on them to turn him to face me. He did so reluctantly.

"Calm the fuck down." I said, with a sharp slap to his cheek. I didn't put much effort behind it, but the crack that echoed through the room sounded like thunder.

Edwards face turned confused before crestfallen; his gaze avoided mine and landed somewhere around my chin. I couldn't stand the way it made me feel to see that I had hurt him, even if I didn't mean to.

"Sorry. You just need to snap out of it. We're vampires. This is Alice and Carlisle Cullen and they are not threats. They are friends. You feel the way you do because you have new instincts that you haven't had the chance to get used to or override yet. And we're mates…" I trailed off suddenly as the last word left my lips.

It had just slipped out, but I knew it was the truth; apparently due to my new, vampirey super power. It was like there was something whispering in the back of my mind, causing thoughts that seemed random or could only be guesses at the truth, but then every cell in my body starts to quiver and there's just an overwhelming sense of validity… And the latest truth to pass through my mind was telling me that Edward was my fated partner in this existence.

Edward was my _mate._

Well, fuck me.

Edward and I had spent nearly our whole adolescence _just_ flirting; thinking a relationship could ruin our friendship, and it turns out we were _destined to be together._

That sucks; I could've totally lost my virginity already if I had only just admitted to myself that the gooey-sappy, lovey-dovey feeling that we were meant-to-be was actually valid and not insisted to myself that they were just hormone-driven, lustful feelings for Edward and curiosity about his rumored-to-be-enormous penis...

I was knocked out of my thoughts when Edward suddenly went from growling and snarling, to laughing and rolling around on the floor in front of me. At first I was offended, because he seemed to be laughing at the supposedly preposterous notion that we were Destined-with-a-capital-D, but the whispers in my mind and the quaky feeling in my bones was telling me that wasn't right. Edward wasn't laughing at that…

"Oh my god, Bella… you… you…" Edward started to say something but he couldn't seem to stop laughing enough to get it out. …get it out… Damn, I'm still thinking about his supposed-donkey-dick. I let my eyes trail down from Edward's face…

"Bella, who knew that you had such dirty thoughts?" Edward finally spit out between laughs, still clutching his ribs and lying at my feet. "…and why so many hyphens?"

* * *

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